Page 64 - Sun Rays_February 2016

Making it Last
Sun City residents share their best relationship advice

FIND YOUR BEST FRIEND Rich and Susie Barbee KEEP WORKING AT IT
You need to WORK at relationships. They
My wife Susie and I have been don’t survive without reinforcement.
together for 44 years. There are Write a friend you haven’t seen in some
no real secrets to longevity in time - tell them you miss them. Go home
relationships and it is not complex. and hug your spouse and thank them for
We live together by a few simple loving you. Call your best friend and tell
guidelines: them that they are special to you. Keep
communicating!
1. Laugh together many times Steve Burke
each day.
Don and Kathe Miller
2. Hold hands when alone - this ARE YOU LISTENING?
is when it really counts. Don Miller and I met January 15, 1980
and married January 15, 1981. I think
3. Let intimacy mature with your the best secrets to a long lasting, loving
experiences. relationship are listening, surprising
each other with little gifts that show you
4. Say good mor n ing and care (and listen) and - most importantly
goodnight with a smile as if - always trying to be the one who does
it is your first date. the most for your partner.
Kathe Miller
5. Never let silly anger fester into
major differences. DON’T FIX HIS PROBLEMS
My husband Arnold and I will celebrate
6. Share each other’s passions. 40 years together in 2016. The best
advice I got came early in our marriage: I
If you are really lucky like me, you learned that when my husband is venting
found your best friend, fell in love about some problem or other, my job
and lived happily ever after! was not to fix it for him, or even to tell
him how to fix it. Instead, my job is to
Rich Barbee empathize with whatever emotion he’s
feeling to let him know I care. That’s it!
SOMETIMES THERE’S NO RIGHT OR WRONG Sharon D. Lesikar

One of the first things in developing a relationship with your spouse is to not give ONLINE: SCTEXAS.ORG
“advice” unless asked for - it usually comes out as criticism. Suggestions may work
better, at least for the other’s ego, but that doesn’t always work. Sometimes, just
keeping quiet is the best way to go.

Humor and laughing together keeps you interactive. The spouse tells a joke and
you laugh whether it’s funny or not. It will make you both feel good. I have been
married 53 years and have often told my husband, “If you ever stop making me
laugh, I’m outta here.” Besides, I love to see him smile.

Be prepared to argue, because you absolutely will. Be better prepared to step down
when you see there is no clear winner. Sometimes there is no right or wrong, just
the in-between. Being right can occasionally be very lonely.

Always and I mean always remember that you LOVE him/her and tell them that
everyday, several times a day - because what would life be without them?

Helen Marker

62 | SUNRAYS FEBRUARY 2016